Who’s That Looking Over My Shoulder — Friday Follies

Here we are again…Friday.  How did that happen…so quickly?

Time again for…

If you guessed Friday Follows on Twitter…you’re only partially right.  I love doing Friday Follows.  But now…I also love doing Friday Follies.  The day when I look at how silly I am sometimes…how totally ordinary, mundane, abnormal and out of control I am. 

As compared, of course, to my “public persona.”  Cool, sophisticated, hard-working, intelligent, natural leader, born writer…oh…and did I mention [almost] totally perfect in every way?

The thing is…I’m starting to get paranoid.  I’m starting to think that everyone  knows  everything about me, like every detail of every flaw I ever might have had, or thought I had, or thought I might have had.  Or…thought that someone else thought I had, or might have had.

Here’s why I’m starting to get paranoid.  When I check my e-mail, I’m getting e-mails from people I’ve never heard of who say…on the subject line…”Max, you’re not a millionaire yet?”  or..”Max, why are you still suffering from indigestion?” and “To succeed, this is what you really need the most.”   …right when I was actually beginning to think I  was reasonably successful…

 Here’s another one that’s really making me look over my shoulder to see who it is that’s watching me…making all those recommendations for “others” to compile to send me stuff…the email with the subject line that says…”Recommended books for you.”  When I click on it to open it, the titles read like the “Who’s Who” of all the “Who’s” that exist in me that I’m trying to forget.  

Like, “How to Make Your Junk Someone Else’s in 60 Days or Less”…subtitled…A Junk Collector’s MUST READ…”; and another…”Shape Up, the Non-Exerciser’s Guide to Weight Loss and Muscle Toning…”  

Who told “them” I have a houseful of junk?  Who told “them” I’m a “NON-exerciser??

Or, get this one…”Do it NOW!  Whatever it is, Do it NOW!”  How do “they” know that I’ve procrastinated doing so many things that if I started doing all of them NOW…I’d start a tornado…of massive proportion?  Is that what “they” really want?

And, is it just me, or have you noticed how the sidebar ads on your home page are getting more geographically “correct” — like “Your Safeway store,”  with the address of the store closest to your house,” is having a sale today.”

What’s up with that? 

I like being a little anonymous.  OK, sometimes I like being a lot anonymous.  If I’m checking out the latest “Weight Loss Miracle” or “Magic Age Reversal Cream”, or “Tummy Tuck without Removing Your Tummy”, it’s not necessarily because I need these things…it’s because I’m curious…sort of “what if”…right? 

I moved my webcam…I thought it might be the spy looking over my shoulder…and I upgraded my “cookie deleter” so “they” couldn’t see how many cookies my computer ate.  Still…those e-mails, and flyers that arrive in the mailbox…make me wonder…

Like a lot of people [I think anyway] I’ve been wondering for awhile how much data collecting is OK.  Who knows how many pair of shoes are in my closet, when I bought them, how much I paid, what pair I’m going to buy next?  Who knows what car I’m most likely to purchase…and when…or whether I’ll buy spinach or green beans at the market. 

Is it as George Orwell predicted…”Big Brother is Watching You?”  Or…is it more…Is it “Them?”  Is it the Composite Scientists who use psychological profiles and computer modeling to predict human behavior?  Is that who’s looking over my shoulder?

If so, I have something to say to “them.”  Forget it.  Humans are unpredictable.  Women are particularly unpredictable.  I am unpredictable.  My husband says so.

So, whoever is looking over my shoulder, you may as well stop.  If I can’t predict what I’m going to do next, what good is it for you to try to guess? 

Except…in my lifetime…I may buy another pair of shoes…or two.  That’s probably a reasonably safe prediction…

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