Cat Staff Needed: Must Serve — Friday Follies


 Here’s Hope — getting into “the picture.”   “Hoping” her cute pose will get my attention.

 And, when she doesn’t get what she wants, she lets me know.  As she did here.  “…it’s ME.  Yo…I know you like the screensaver with the cat on the clothesline sticking out of the jeans…but hey…get real! 

Here I am… I REALLY am sitting on your printer…looking…oh, I don’t know…so much more svelte with my paw just soooo.  The perfect mime!  See?  I can do that…you know, hang my paw…perfectly.

So…uh…like…could I just get a little attention here, please?”

Around here it’s sometimes just not enough to get spoon fed  gourmet cat food. 

 “Sometimes WE (me and my  mate the Princess)…  and we determine the sometimes…want to have your immediate and undivided attention. 

Regardless of what you might be doing…it is important for you to remember…before all else…you are staff…CAT staff . 

Our requirements are very particular.  Requirements that we expect you will anticipate, not have to be told…although we will tell you quite clearly…if you fail to anticipate.”

Right now, in addition to my …home …cat staffing requirements, I am “staffing” for a friend.   I considered asking my friend if she thought her cat, Shadow,  might like to come here…honor us with his presence.

However, from prior experience, I know that bringing a…stranger… into our cats’ home for a few weeks…is very unlikely to work.  They would not extend the invitation readily!

So I’m going to “his” home.  Spending time, talking to him, petting him, making sure he has plenty of food and water, and a clean litter box.  

Like the two that I reside with, however, he has very finicky requirements.  He expects his “staff” to serve his household exclusively.  He is not thrilled that I come in, tell him I think he’s a special and wonderful cat …and smell…like I’ve been with someone else

I believe there is an exclusivity rule that applies to all cat households.  Cats expect their staff to be monogamous.  “JUST me!  Don’t you get it.  If I happened to have chosen your home to reside in, and if I happen to have chosen a sibling or special friend to be here also, that’s OK.  That was my choice!  However, you…you human staff you…you need to remember that if I don’t approve those others…those others that I smell…it is not OK.  And…you will pay!!!”

So.  Here’s how it’s working currently. 

At Shadow’s home (the “other” cat I’m staffing for), I am almost…but not quite…persona not grata.  I have lukewarm approval when I am fulfilling the absolute minimum cat staffing requirements of requisite petting, filling the food and water dishes, and changing the litter box.  However, Shadow makes it quite clear that the “others” whom he smells on me, will prevent me from ever becoming permanent staff at his household.  And, to make sure his disapproval of the whole set-up is clear, he’s used the corner of the dining room for his “big” business several times….”There…that’s what I think about not having the full-time staff I need, deserve…and require!”

And…at home…my two are treating me with disdain and restraint!  “What is that awful smell?  Clearly, an interloper.  How could you possibly be consorting with a cat of that class?  We are certain it’s a very inferior breed.”

I am walking the fine line. 

I believe I may understand a little bit now about how difficult it is for those idiots who choose to have two…or more…families that don”t know each other.

The secrets…the lies. 

As I move between households now …with my Fabreeze and the lint roller… “Oh, sweeties, of course I haven’t been with another…C A T.  How can you possibly think that?” 

Like they really wouldn’t know.  At either house!

Which makes me wonder… who…besides me…really didn’t know what was going on with my favorite TV huckster, Billy Mays?

I cannot tell you how disappointed I was today after finding out through Twitter that he didn’t… get his highs… from sniffing the fresh smell of Oxiclean!

And…that’s….it…folks!  Friday Follies.  Following Friday Follows.

I’m back to cat staff duties now.  The Princess, sitting in the chair beside me, just informed me it’s dinner time.

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